We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
