Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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