so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
