I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize