did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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