We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
