To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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