Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
