Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
