If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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