I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
