But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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