Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
