If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
