It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish I only lived at night.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
