Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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