I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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