i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
