who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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