Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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