she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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