there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
