I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
