Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
