I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
