I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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