Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
