Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
