So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
