The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
