Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
