Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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