He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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