Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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