Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My vagina just recognized that song.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
