Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
