Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
