Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
