well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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