I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Watching her eat just hurts me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
