I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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