I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
