small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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