I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
