sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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