He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
