Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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