If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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