.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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