like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
