One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
