What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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