Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
