Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
