he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
