I wanna bring you to show and tell
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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