4 words: hood of his car
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
