Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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