I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
