Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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