I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
