let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
