You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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