i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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