You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
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