Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize