I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
