Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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