Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
