Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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