so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
