You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
