Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
